Dumb Things I Like

Sometimes in life you work on something really dumb because you’re bored. I tend to work on dumb things because I am dumb, but aside from that I get bored, too, and I have a lot of goofy things that interest me. For instance, I love awful horror movies. Tonight I’m watching Blood Beach then Death Ship. I used to do a blog titled Zombielogic’s Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews where I only reviewed horror movies in a few lines. I don’t like to write negative reviews because most of my friends work in film and I know how hard it is to make anything in life, and what difference does it make if I tell you something sucks?

This week has got to take the cake for dumb, though, because I’m working on creating a fictional poetry slam league called the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America. So far I’m having a lot of fun creating the rosters.  I picked the first five teams from the Five Sacred Cities of Funny Names: Chemung, Paducah, Kokomo, Rancho Cucamonga, and Sheboygan, but I also couldn’t forget about Minooka, and when I learned there is really a Podunk, Vermont, it was in, too.

But I’m really here to talk about The Journal of Outsider Poetry, which I think is getting a bum rap by the search engines.

They just found a guy’s wiener in Blood Beach. See, there’s this monster that lives under the sand, and this guy was laying on the beach, and… you get the idea.

I’ve been contemplating making more of an effort to take over the search term Dirty Tricks, especially since they say it in election cycles all the time, but I got this pint of Butterfinger ice cream and a Xanax that says I don’t make any inroads on that project this night. We need a picture of something.


This is me holding an action figure my friend Andrew made for his comic book character Ape Face Rockefeller. We keep talking about making it into a real comic book, and maybe we will.

Get off that beach, dummy.




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